TRUE STORY: Car Jacking Foiled: 
 
 An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four males 
 in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, 
 proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows 
 how to use it and that she will if required.........so get out of the car. 
 The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and 
 ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags 
 into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat. 
 
 Small problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was 
 identical and parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her 
 bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she 
 told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed 
 to the other end of the counter where four pale white males were 
 reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly, white woman........no charges 
 were filed. 
 
 _________________________________________________________________ 
 You Think You Are Having a Bad Day 
 
 
 Next time you think you're having a bad day recall that: 
 
 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil 
 spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most 
 expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers 
 and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a 
 killer whale. 
 
 2. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world 
 flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours 
 short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend 
 had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off. 
 
 3. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking 
 frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards 
 the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current 
 she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking 
 his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening 
 to his Walkman. 
 
 4. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of 
 sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two 
 thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, 
 trampling the two hapless protesters to death. 
 
 And the capper....... 
 
 5. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a 
 letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. 
 Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.