A Comparison Of Religious Theories

 

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys wins.

Hare Krishna - He who plays with the most toys wins.

Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys wins.

Anglican - They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.

Polytheism - There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.

Baptist - Once played, always played. 

Church of Christ Scientist - We are the toys.



Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.

Bahai - All toys are just fine with us.

 

 

Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.



Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!

Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.



7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses. 

Baptist - Once played, always played. 

Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.



Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.



Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.