This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's 
fast-food establishment. And They Hired Him !!!

NAME: Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION:  Reclining.  HA. But seriously, whatever's available. If I 
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first 
place.
DESIRED SALARY:  $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael 
Ovitz-style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we 
can haggle.
EDUCATION:  Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD:  Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY:  Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:  My incredible collection of stolen pens and 
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:  It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.
PREFERRED HOURS:  1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:  Yes, but they're better suited to a more 
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:  If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU  FROM LIFTING UP 
TO 50 LBS?:  Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:  I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do 
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?:  I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse 
Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?:  Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:  Living in the Bahamas with 
a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since 
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND  COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR 
KNOWLEDGE?:  No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE:  Scorpio with Libra rising.