Subject: Love, Lust, Marriage











LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.


LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.


MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.





LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."


LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."


MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?





LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.


LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.


MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.





LOVE - When you share everything you own.


LUST - When you steal everything they own.


MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.





LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.


LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.


MARRIAGE - What's a climax?





LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."


LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.


MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch.





LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.


LUST - When all you write is your phone number.


MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.





LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.


LUST - When you couldn't care less.


MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.





LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."


LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."


MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.





LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.


LUST - When you only see each other naked.


MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.





LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them.


LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them.


MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties everytime you see them.





LOVE - When nobody else matters.


LUST - When nobody else knows.


MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.





LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.


LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.


MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.





LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.


LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.


MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.





LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.


LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.


MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.