**YOU KNOW YOU'RE GHETTO IF: **You brush your teeth with a washcloth. **Your man can wear his hair in a ponytail but you can't. **You ask your wife for money to pay for your girlfriends abortion. **You keep your food stamps in a money clip. **You use your welfare check as collateral **Your fingernails are longer than your fingers **You've ever snuck a 40 ounce into church. **Your baby daddy's name is tattooed on your breast **You put sugar on your Frosted Flakes. **You buy cigarettes individually, not by the pack. **You do your grocery shopping at a liquor store. **Your Moms washes paper plates. **You caint-kant-can't spell "can't" **You throw a pool party at the fire hydrant. **You have a wife and kids but still live with your parents **You are 19 years old and just met your father