A Dating Lessons

A WHITE WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third date: You get to make love; but, only in the missionary position.

Fourth date: She will tell you “It’s all about me not about you... please, let’s end this relationship and date other people.”

AN IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and make love.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and make love.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and make love.

AN ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date: You make love, she wants to marry you & insists on a 24-carat diamond ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of making love.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

A JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You talk about saving money.

Second Date: You talk about saving money.

Third Date: You marry her and still talk about saving money.

A HABESHA WOMAN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to a third date --you've already have realized nothing is ever going to happen.

 AN INDIAN WOMAN:
First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

A BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a very expensive dinner.

Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a very expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: After DNA tests with 7 other men, she's pregnant by someone other than you

A MEXICAN WOMAN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, gets drunk on Tequila, and makes love to you in the back of your car.

Second Date: She's pregnant.

Third Date: She moves in!  One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in; and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

AN ARAB WOMAN:
First date: Mother, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and her entire Arab tribe find out.

Second date: You are shot dead.

No third date!