Subject: Fwd: FW: HOW TO BE A COOL ARAB
HOW TO BE A COOL ARAB
1. Wear clothes of two colors : Black
or White.
2. Own a cell phone and use it at inappropriate times - In
Restaurants,
funeral, wedding, and on dates !
3. Pity anyone who is not ARAB and for not being as cultured and
sophisticated as ARABs !!
4. Have predominantly ARAB friends, with a few American friends,
throw them in for more diversity. Talk Arabic when they are
around!
5. Dress as though you are headed to a club when your actually
going to work or to class.
6. If you are an Arab woman, stare menacingly at other woman around
you, especially if they're richer or more attractive than you.
7. If you are an Arab guy, be sure not to bathe to achieve an "earthy"
scent, then try to mask it with a lot of cologne; the combination
drives the babes wild.
8. Smoke as if it were your last day on earth...... and smoke only
MARLBOROS.
9. Travel only in droves of 10 or more and be AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE
AT ALL TIMES !
10. If you're single, go to all the ARAB intercollegiate parties
and all the ARAB conferences, even if you're 45 years old.
11. If you're a single ARAB over 30, tell everyone you're in your
20's even if you're pushing 50.
12. If you're a single ARAB guy, tell women you're a "successful
businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home"
even if you're an unemployed goat farmer.
13. Dirty dance to Arabic music.
14. Wear only "designer" labels even if you buy them off a cart on
a sidewalk in Manhattan.
15. Make sure "designer" label are extremely visible, preferably
embroider on the front of the apparel.
17. If you're an ARAB guy, be indifferent and rude to any woman
you're interested in dating, especially if she is ARAB.
18. Wear a leather jacket at ALL times..... even in the summer.
19. Tell American acquaintances that money is never an object, even if
you only have ten bucks to your name.
20. Make sure you install every possible option in your car, even
if your car is a Yugo.
21. Own a sports car, even if it's a juke.
22. If you are an ARAB woman, dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
blonde that is nonexistence in nature and swear that it's natural.
23. If you are an ARAB- AMERICAN, act like your father was royalty
back home.
24. PUMP ARABIC MUSIC AT ALL TIMES !