Only in America:

Only in America...can a homeless combat veteran live in a
cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. 

Only in America...can a pizza get to your housefaster than
an ambulance. 

Only in America...are there handicapped parking places in 
front of a skating rink. 

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions. 

Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, a
large fry, and a diet coke. 
  
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then 
chain the pens to the counters. 
  
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars 
in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage. 
  
Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls 
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone 
we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 
  
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns 
in packages of eight. 
  
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the 
process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning 
"blood-sucking creatures". 
  
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille 
lettering...