Zen philosophy to "enlighten" your day...

 

 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.

     Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.

     Do not walk beside me, either.

     Just leave me the hell alone.

 

 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with

     a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

 

 3. It's always darkest before dawn.

     So if you're going to steal your neighbor's

 newspaper,

     that's the time to do it.

 

 4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced,

 you can't be

 promoted.

 

 5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 

 6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone

 else.

 

 7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

 

 8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is

 simply to

     serve as a warning to others.

 

 9. It is far more impressive when others discover

 your good

     qualities without your help.

 

 10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive,

       try missing a couple of car payments.

 

 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not

 for you.

 

 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

       Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a

 boat and drink beer all

 day.

 

 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that

 person again,

       it was probably worth it.

 

 14. Don't squat with your spurs on.

 

 15. If you tell the truth, you don't have to

 remember anything.

 

 16. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause

 people.

 

 17. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the

 windshield.

 

 18. Good judgment comes from bad experience

       and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

 

 19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold

 it in half

       and put it back in your pocket.

 

 20. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome

 of a rain dance.

 

 21. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

 

 22. Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side

 and a dark side,

       and it holds the universe together.

 

 23. There are two theories to arguing with women.

 Neither one works.

 

 24. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much

 when your mouth

       is moving.

 

 25. Experience is something you don't get until just

 after you need it.

 

 THE POWER TO CHANGE TOMORROW IS HELD IN THE

 DECISIONS WE MAKE TODAY!!