Lewinsky Virus: 
 Sucks all the memory out of your computer, 
 then e-mails everyone about what it did. 
 
 Clinton Virus: 
 Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory. 

 Kenneth Starr Virus: 
 Competely examines every aspect of your computer, 
 then compiles a complex report that discredits every 
 aspect of your computer. 

  
 Ronald Reagan Virus: 
 Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. 


  Mike Tyson Virus: 
 Quits after two bytes. 
 Spits everything out. 
 
 Oprah Winfrey Virus: 
 Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, 
 then slowly expands to 200 MB. 
 
 Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: 
 Deletes all old files. 
 
 Ellen Degeneres Virus: 
 Disks can no longer be inserted. 
 
 Titanic Virus: 
 Your whole computer goes down. 

 Disney Virus: 
 Everything in your computer goes Goofy. 
 
 Prozac Virus: 
 Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care. 
 
 Joey Buttafuoco Virus: 
 Only attacks minor files. 
 
 Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: 
 Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack. 
 
 Lorena Bobbit Virus: 
 Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, 
 then discards it through Windows. 
 
 Viagra Virus: 
 Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.