If you receive an e-mail entitled 'Badtimes', delete it immediately. 
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only 
erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything 
on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes 
on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your PIN access code, screws 
up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch 
any CDs you attempt to play. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's 
coolness settings so all your ice-cream melts and your milk curdles. It 
will program your phone AutoDial to call only 0898 sex line numbers. This 
virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. 
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting 
company. It will replace your shampoo with engine oil and your engine oil 
with orange juice, all the while dating your current girl/boyfriend behind 
your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will 
cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun 
until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all 
your active verbs into passive tense and incorporating undetectable 
misspellings, which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. 
 
 If 'Badtimes' is opened in Windows95/98, it will leave the toilet seat up
and your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath. It will 
also molecularly rearrange your aftershave/perfume, causing it to smell 
like dill pickles. It will install itself into your cistern and lie in 
wait until someone important, like your boss or friend, uses the toilet, 
then block the s-bend and cause your toilet to overflow. In the worst case 
scenario, it may stick pins in your eyes.