Humor and Mathmatics  

 

 

 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

 Smart man + smart woman = romance

 Smart man + dumb woman = affair

 Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

 Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy



 OFFICE ARITHMETIC

 Smart boss + smart employee = profit

 Smart boss + dumb employee = production

 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



 SHOPPING MATH

 A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

 A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't

 need.



 GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

 A woman worries about the future until she gets a

 husband.

 A man never worries about the future until he gets a

 wife.

 A successful man is one who makes more money than

 his wife can spend.

 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



 HAPPINESS

 To be happy with a man, you must understand him a

 lot and love him a little.

 To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot

 and not try to understand her at all.



 LONGEVITY

 Married men live longer than single men, but married

 men are a lot more willing to die.



 MEMORY

 Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's

 no use in two people remembering the same thing.



 APPEARANCE

 Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

 Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



 PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but

 he doesn't.

 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't

 change, and she does.



 DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

 A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything

 a man says after

 that is the beginning of a new argument.



 COMPREHENSION

 There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a

 woman - before

 marriage and after marriage.