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Subject: A little crowded in heaven


It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God
decided to
change the admittance policy. The new law was: in
order to get into
Heaven, you had to have a really bummer day on the
day that you died.
The policy would go into effect at noon the next
day.
So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to
the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy,
promptly asked the
man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how
your
day was going when you died."
"No problem" the man said. "I came home to my 25th
floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But
her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for
him. My wife was
half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the
entire apartment. Just as
I was about to give up, I happened to glance out
onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by
his fingertips! The
nerve of that guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he
fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he
landed in some trees
and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die.
This ticked me off
even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the
first thing I could
get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the
first thing I thought
of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it
out onto the balcony
and flipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had
a heart attack and
died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and thought a moment.
Technically, the guy did have a
bad day - it was a crime of passion. So, the Angel
announces, "OKsir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and lets him in.
A few seconds later the next guy comes up. To the
Angel's surprise It
was Vernon Jordan. "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you
in, I need to hear
about what your day was like when you died.
Jordan said, "No problem. But you're not going to
believe this. I was on
the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my
daily exercises. I had
been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
hard to relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
slipped, and accidentally
fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch
myself by the
fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a
sudden this crazy man
comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing,
and stomps on my
fingers. Well, of course, I fell. I hit some trees
and bushes at the
bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right
away. As I'm laying
there, face up on the ground, unable to move, and in
excruciating pain,
I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things,
off the balcony. It
falls
the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Jordan
finishes his story. I
could get used to this new policy, he thinks to
himself "Very well," the
Angel announces "welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and he lets Jordan
enter.
A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to
the gate. The Angel
is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of
assassination and war poured
through the Angel's head.
Finally he said, "Mr. President, please tell me what
it was like the day
you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm sitting inside
a refrigerator,
naked, minding my own business...."